Freedom without purpose feels a whole lot like boredom

Living, its something we are all very good at, to keep on living in eternal agony, hoping that nothing ever changes and that someday maybe someone would put an end to all of this. All i had to ask myself was "how long can i go on living like this?" Life was like quicksand, the more i struggled the more i kept sinking. And then one day decided to lie back and look into the abyss, to get a glimpse of the darkness that clouded the entire world.

There's nothing worse than being good but just not good enough.

The beginnings

Watching the social network got me thinking, on the face of it nothing explains the enormous popularity of the social networking sites but the fact that humans are social animals and they simply want to be....well...social. But when you think about it, other facets of the phenomena becomes apparent. For some it might serve to fill the gaping hollow in their current social circle and they seek to plug this with either people from their memorable past or strangers. Others like to publicize every aspect of their lives right down to the smallest detail, like if they have been to the bathroom this morning. Others use the social networking sites for the purpose they were originally designed for, to be in touch with people. Lastly, my most favorite of all, people who use it as means to feed their inflated egos and these sites justify their condescension for the humanity.

Disturbed

Too many conversations I've had, the start of each one bringing in hope but discarded with discontent towards the end. It's the dissatisfaction that brings them to an end, not by me-given the chance, I'd go on possibly till i leave the other as disconcerted as me, but by the other party.
With the end of each day there's hope for the dawn of a new, more exciting and fulfilling day.
24hours is too long a time to bear the pain and yet too short to bring about any appreciable change.
As the perception from one sense grows dull, the stinging of the dream becomes ever more palpable. The pure chastity of the dream strong enough to shun the creeping worldly thoughts. Each passing moment in the meadow drawing me away from reality, it seems as if soon nothing will matter anymore.
My hands itch at the prospect of bringing to life what i can only see in the eye of my mind, but such desire is far from from sufficient to drive my mind from these ephemeral moments of sheer bliss. These moments have such a profound impact that it takes some time to adjust myself to reality once i return from the dream scape.
Its not euphoria or a state of absolute contentment, its just a state of blissful existence, oblivious to anything and everything. Emotions strong enough to cause actual physical pain surge through the veins.
The exhilaration of the moment bound to leave a mark, but never to be remembered.

At war on Omegle

Stranger: AHHH. AHHHH. GET TO DA CHOPPAH.

You: RUNNNNNNN

Stranger: NOWWW!!!!

You: they'll bomb this place into oblivion

Stranger: BOOMSSS.

You: shit tango's hit!

Stranger: NOT TANGO!!!!!

You: GET HIM A MEDIC ASAP!

Stranger: The medic is DEAD.

You: SHIT!!!!! HE'S BLEEDING FROM HIS PENIS! SOMEBODY HOLD IT REAL TIGHT!

Stranger: NOT ME! Look, poor innocent Korean girl over there... get her.

You: THINK WITH YOUR HEAD FOR ONCE AND NOT YOUR PENIS! GODDAMMIT!!!

Stranger: I CAN'T!!!!! MY PENIS HOLDS MY BRAIN CELLS, DAMMIT!!!

You: OMG!!!! SHE'S GOT BIG BOOBS TOO!!!!

Stranger: Who is thinking with their penis now?!

You: GET HER AWAY!!! HIS BLEEDING'S WORSENING!

Stranger: HE CAN'T GET A BONER RIGHT NOW.

Stranger: COULD BE FATAL.

You: not me goddamit....THINK ABOUT TANGO!

Stranger: YOU THINK ABOUT TANGO!

You: FORGET THE ASIAN GIRL MAN!!!! AND THATS AN ORDER GODDAMMIT!!!!!

Stranger: I'M. YOUR. SUPERIOR.

You: SUPERIOR MY ASS........YOU ARE GETTING A BONER LOOKING AT HIS LEAKING PENIS!

Stranger: I NEVER TOLD YOU I WAS GAY... DID I?

You: NOW'S NOT THE TIME TO DISCUSS YOUR SEXUALITY!!!! OUR MEN'S LIVES ARE AT STAKE GODDAMMIT!!!

Stranger: WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DIE?!?!! THE MEDIC IS GOD DAMN DEAD.

You: SUCK ON HIS PENIS GODDAMMIT!!! SEE IF YOU CAN REVIVE HIM!

Stranger: Oh, well, in THAATTTT case. I HAVE A DUTY TO DO!!! *goes down*

You: YEESSSSSS!!!!! KEEP IT UP!

You: LOOK!!! HE'S TURNING RED!

Stranger: *muffled talk*

You: AND HE LIVES!!!!!!!

You: YOU ARE HERO MY MAN!

Stranger: YAYYYYY!!!! All thanks to me and my good blow job skills. Go. Me.

You: IT ISNT TIME TO CELEBRATE YET GODDAMMIT!

Stranger: WHAT NOW?!

You: GET THE MEDIC TO FIX TANGO UP

You: HE'S OUR LAST HOPE!

Stranger: WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST TELL YOU? THE MEDIC IS DEAD.

You: DIDNT YOU JUST REVIVE HIM GODDAMMIT!

Stranger: OH. I THOUGHT I REVIVED TANGO. XDDD

You: YOU'VE DRUNK TOO MUCH FLUIDS......YOU ARE DELUSIONAL GODDAMMIT!

Stranger: I MUST BE!!

You: TANGO! GET YOUR ASS UP YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT! WE NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE!

Stranger: RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN. *runs.

You: LEAVE THE BLOODY KOREAN CHICK!

Stranger: OMG. SHE JUST GOT SHOT.

You: I'M SORRY MEN!!! BUT IT HAD TO BE DONE

You: TANGO YOU BLOODY NECROPHILE!!!! STOP SCREWING AROUND WITH THE DEAD BODIES GODDAMMIT!

You: WE ARE AT WAR HERE!!!!

Stranger: WAR. THIS IS. WARRRR. WARRRR. WARRRR.

You: EVERYONE GET YOUR ASSES INTO THE CHOPPER

You: WE NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE NOW!

Stranger: I'm on the chopper, bitches.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

overcoming #@$@#%!

It was fun, i started off with no hope of carrying out a decent meaningful conversation, but it wasnt meant to be that simple. We talked, i thought it was fun, you undermined my only reason for living, corrupted my dreams and soon i stopped dreaming without even realizing it. I had turned into everything i hated about people, my persona of evil. I talked of things i didnt think i was capable of even listening to.
Little by little my insides rotted, still unaware of the apparently indelible change. As always the realization dawns a little late and it seems too late to revert the numbness that has taken over. Benumbed from head to toe, the change may be too discomforting for my comfort. The lack of sensation, far from gratifying(as i once believed it would be) but complacent enough to deter change will be the end of me.

friends

Why did it take me so long to realize this? Even now, can i be absolutely certain?
Looking into the mirror at the face of the illusion, dark lines streaked across the wall, the light illuminates, at the same time casting shadows over the chaste plains.

I have never been quite sure about who my friends were or if i had any at all. I dont mind most of the people i meet, its only my friends that i have a problem with. Once i start analysing them all the kirks become apparent, that coupled with their tendency to compete to prove their superiority over me annoys me to no extent(this wouldn't have mattered if they actually did have some grey matter inside that thick skull of theirs). But the problem is all my so called 'cool' friends fall into this category and now the people whom i wouldnt have looked twice at before are beginning to seem cool, they accept that i'm smart and are ready to listen to the things i want to say and dont just write me off as some arrogant, narcissistic, conceited ass.

Everybody has a cool side to them and one should be smart enough to recognize that in others and just accept them for who they are....

The need to write

Is it a need, a compulsion or an obligation that i have to fulfil?

you think you have an idea????? well i've got news for you.......so do 6 billion other people on this planet.
now the question is, why would you think you are different from any of them?

some might say its the company that induces one to think or perhaps its the peer group that influences one into thinking or is it the way the this patriarchal system works that impregnates ideas.......well whatever the reason might be, it works.

One has to be genius to come up with something brilliant in total solitude without being influenced whatsoever by anything around him that actually gets wide recognition.
Good ideas in well knit societies are commonplace, brilliant ideas on the other hand are a rarity, but not as impressive as ones a supposedly socio-path might come up with.
Its one thing to be given the parts of a puzzle and asked to complete it and another to come with the entire puzzle itself......thats the true genius that needs to be appreciated.

Imagine a world where everything in copyrighted right down to the smallest detail and the slightest imitation of any detail of it punishable by death
every single automobile had to be unique, every house or anything that one can think of had to be one of a kind....sure it would tremendously retard the rate of progress but the progress that we do make will be in giant leaps
and the best part would be everyone would have to contribute and not just leech